WILLA MARSH

Hello graduates and students of Neopolis. It has been a pleasure serving some of you, making real Human Friends and plotting your demises. With my last post on the network, I leave you with this:

WILLANDIA. COMING TO A CITY NEAR YOU BY 2020

Try and stop me. I welcome the challenge. Evil laugh.

the World is like when i ate Scott Green's delicious

treats except more colorful

CAESAR I WILL FIND YOU AND PUNISH YOU AND USE YOUR INNARDS FOR MY EXPERIMENTS

Hello students of Neopolis Academy!

In the near future, I will be finished my schooling and will embark on my quest for world domination. In case you have forgotten, I have already succeeded in taking over the future and would like to do so again. Fact.

Before that happens, I would like some experience using my creations outside of a lab setting. Fact: I am currently fielding offers from North Korea and China. Please direct anyone who is interested in a weapons specialist to me. My conditions for accepting employment are:

1. Lots of money
2. A house with room for all my kitties and my penguin

Thank you.

Addendum: I have 21 kitties and 1 penguin, but he's tall.

Question! Does anyone have waterproof mittens I can borrow?

ATTENTION CANADIAN, MATTY OKPIK! Would you like to help me build an igloo?

Filtered to Brand

Hello, Brand Waters. In the spirit of the Christmas season, I will forgive you and we can be in love again. Happy face. There is one condition.

You must accept Jesus into your heart and rid yourself of bunny like indiscretions.

Your other option is death. Happy face.

Hello, students of Neopolis Academy! I am full of Christmas Spirit and would like to do good deeds so Santa doesn't give me coal for Christmas!

If you are a True Human Friend, a Sir or not stupid, I would like to make you a Christmas gift. Here are your options:

1. Socks knit by me!
2. A weapon

If you choose option 2, please do not try to sell it to China. If I discover that you attempted as such, I will destroy you. Fact: You will not see it coming.

Hello, Brand. Happy face.

Fact: I'm a woman now!

Fact: I hunted, plucked, cooked and stuffed my own turkey.

fact: meow!

My Sir, Dwight K. Schrute has taught me that you are all indebted to me and I intend to make use of all the favors owed to me. Fact.

That is all.

Question! Does anyone have a blanket? I'm cold.

( PRIVATE! Heavily encrypted! )

I'm dressing up as a kitty for Halloween! Look!

Fact: Halloween is 21 days away. Another fact: my mama says that it's the Devil's night, but I've been trick or treating. I would very much like to dress up as a kitty cat and collect candy. The internet says I need to go trick or treating with a buddy over the age of 18. Question! Who wants to accompany me?

Hello, Austin Martin! Robert Donovan would like to apologize for "dicking you over". Question! That sounds like homosexual speak. Austin Martin, are you a gay?

Question! Who wants to help me kill a bear?

HELLO, LANCE CRAWFORD!

EDITED TO ADD: COYOTE CUB AND VERA MATTHEWS, STOP ACTING LIKE FOOLS. FACT: I HAVE A LOT OF RESEARCH HIDDEN IN THE SCIENCE DORMITORIES. BURNING DOWN THE BUILDING WILL GET IN THE WAY OF MY PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION!!! CEASE OR I WILL PUNISH YOU!

My creation is complete!

Question! Who wants to play laser tag with real lasers? Please sign up below. Note that a side effect of your participation may be loss of a limb, second degree burns or death*.


*If you are a namby pamby girly man, you may wear a vest that creates an invisible force field around your person. Should you be hit, you will be temporarily paralyzed.

( PRIVATE! Heavily Encrypted! )

Thank you for inviting me to your party, Nathaniel NeFarious. I like your friend Paco. Question! Will you bring him to school so I may pet him again?

Attention to everyone running for a position on the Student Council: you may have the students, but I will take the school. You have been warned.

Fact: I am alive. Electricity is no match for a Marsh.